(Pictures coming soon...)
Those of you loyal readers have been wondering when the next posting will be and hoping for something a little more "uplifting" after that last cup of coffee. Yes, it's been almost 2 weeks since my last journal entry and it's been filled with our busy daily life here. The biggest reason for the slow communique is that our internet/phone/cable has not yet been installed and I must still borrow computers away from home. After 10 days of being on-call for the phone company and 2 different service visits, they now know that our cable line needs to be re-connected to the house. This will take a crew to dig and lay a new line. Our landlord knew this needed to be done but he waited until we fumbled our sorry asses through the Danish system of paltry customer service to find this out. Long story short, we must now wait in line for the repair crew with an estimated waiting time of 2 weeks (translation... it could be even longer). We watch very little screen and when we do, it's one of the same old tired movies that we own. Movies at blockbuster rent for about $8 for one night. It still beats the movie theater where tickets go for $15 and up each.
So, let's get off that positive note and I'll "grocery list" some highlights over the last 2 weeks.
Molly and Maya are making more friends, getting better used to our school life and finding new ways to have fun in this city. Molly had 2 sleepovers and a birthday party in one 3-day weekend. She really needed that peer socialization. Maya has been named the "human calculator" in her classroom now after winning the multiplication contest among all fifth graders. It's a small achievement, but one that is helping her integrate and engage among her peers. Maya has been invited to a birthday party for a friend at the Danish Film Institute this weekend. They are riding on their bikes with more certainty and less scrapes and bruises and know the route almost well enough to go alone. We discovered a new skateboard park that is a 20 minute bike ride away and has cool stuff for bikes, scooters and skates too.
As it turns out, the girls brand new American bikes don't fit the Danish system here of fenders and basket racks. We've spent numerous trips to the bike shop and still haven't figured it out. Craig and I bit the bullet and bought ourselves new Danish bikes because we were having the same problem. Bikes are not just for recreation - they are like primary transportation vehicles and need the right gear. Craig and I now have fenders, covered chain rings, lights, reflectors, kick brakes, 7 gears, baskets (I have one in front and back) and of course, the mandatory bell.
So now we have extra bikes for guests.
We've had some family outings on the weekends including the travelling circus, 2 long rides through copenhagen on bikes, saw the Little Mermaid, The Danish Resistance Museum, The Experimentarium (their version of OMSI), and hit up several flea markets. While the flea markets aren't quite a family activity, they are fun and a cheap way to fill up on local art, games, puzzles, baskets and other things to fill in our very empty house. Flea markets are in almost every community, every weekend and they are like joint-garage sales. Upwards of 20-40 individuals display their stuff all in one communal area. Bargaining is not easy and things are not USA garage sale prices, however things are much cheaper than the stores. Next weekend we have plans to go to a museum that depicts the rural life of historical Denmark with hands on activities and crafts.
LaCrosse Europe Office (Craig and Matt and the salespeople) hosted a dinner party this week for all the business partners that have helped them make the transaction and transition. Local bankers, accountants and lawyers got together at an upscale Brew Pub and restaurant downtown for drinks and dinner. Joe and Teresa Schneider (my sister) were present as was Dave Carlson and Steve Belloti from LaCrosse Portland. This kind of demonstration of thanks is rare in Denmark as Danes don't ever show their appreciation among business associates. They were thrilled. The food and drink was very good and very Danish, which made them happy. Craig and the LaCrosse contingency are up in Aarhus now doing the same with the current sales and office staff from the distribution center.
I got to share a brief afternoon with Teresa and will try to squeeze in more time before she leaves Denmark in a few days. The weather is superbly gorgeous right now, after mostly drizzly, cloudy November-like weather. There is blue sky and about 55 degrees with no wind. The days are already getting noticeably shorter and everyone keeps warning me about how dark and depressing the winters are here. They don't know I've had training in Portland, Oregon! Bring it on.
So, you wonder, what do I do with my days? It's always something different. There seems to be some school-related coffee every week for Maya or Molly's classroom or a newcomer thing. Every day I have some sort of shopping to do, whether it's food or household or clothes, etc. I see the chiropractor once a week, work-out and practice yoga in my newly created home-studio/gym 3-4 times a week, explore, take care of domestic chores and clean the house. Sounds just like America! But every week I go out and ride somewhere new or roam streets just absorbing life.
I just met with a new book club group. They are mostly moms from school. The focus is on Scandinavian authors, both classical and modern, fiction and non-fiction. It's another layer of understanding of where we are. We first meet in October. Books printed in English are very expensive so we'll ship them from the UK. Looking into language courses. They're here, I'm just not ready to devote 3 mornings a week to it... Looking into a rock climbing gym and club here too.
My day to myself usually ends at 2:45 when I pick up the kids. I devote the rest of the afternoon to their activities, playdates, household needs, homework and making dinner. We have incorporated the Danish practice of creating "hygge" in our dining area and during our meals. We sit at the dinner table with lit candles and share our day.
My mother Carole is arriving in 2 weeks and we are all going to southern Spain for the kids fall break. They traditionally have a week off in October because years ago families had to all pitch in and harvest potates during that time. (Can you say Oroville Apple Harvest?) Now people just go away. We are scheduled to fly to Malaga, Spain and stay in a tiny village just off the coast for a few days and then to Sevilla. We may attempt a trip to Gibraltar-Morocco for the day as well. Grandma Carole will be here for 2 and a half weeks total. We are looking forward to sharing our new lives with her.
The girls have had a couple of babysitters now, one of which I gooffed up and overpaid by $45. Sometimes converting Kroner to dollars is confusing. That's why I'm always asking Maya to figure it out for me - see? my human calculator!
There's a lice scare in Molly's class. 2 girls have had it and I'm watching Molly's head daily. Like we need that. Lice know no boundaries in status or country.
We are still working with the banks to organize our money and our access to it. Can you believe, up until this week we are still drawing US cash out of an ATM (exchanged to Kroner) to pay for everything. We just established our Danske Bank Account and are in the process of wiring US money, which we will do once or twice a month. Things like banking and internet, getting the company car, are taking so long it's like being in slow motion speed. We just don't realize how efficient America is with service. It's expected. In Denmark, they have no expectations, therefore they have no disappointment. Of course I'm generalizing.
We are having to create an entire new social and recreational life over here. At times it's exciting and at times it's tiring. It would have been so easy to just stay right where we were and coast. But we are meeting some incredible people here, all as friendly and helpful as can be, worldly travelled and vibrant. We learn more about our surroundings and our possibilities every day. for example, kayaking is a huge sport here, year round. There are dozens of lakes within a 10 mile radius and often the lakes connect. And the third largest lake in Denmark is just a few miles from where we live. We will slowly check this all out.
I hope this reader is doing well. Please comment to my email address: thecohen4dk@gmail.com
Love and Light,
Mary Jo
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
It's Just a Cup of Coffee
We've been here five weeks now. The sense of zeal we first had for all the new challenges has worn off and now it's just down right frustrating. We are entering a phase of smoothing out daily and weekly bumps in the road. We need to be fed daily with patience and tolerance to get through. Then again, the old "bitch session" with the other American ladies works pretty well too.
Let me paint a picture of life as a new ex-pat on one given day. After biking the children to school and biking back, getting in my physical therapy & strength training, I prepared myself with a specific shopping list of necessary items to buy at a Target-like store outside of town. "Bilka" is the equivalent to Wal-Mart in that the sq. footage is so large it must be out of city limits. Locals stock up on things in a Costco-like frenzy, if Danes could muster such an emotion. But in order to find the store, I had to research the address (not easy without internet or phone book) and then plug it into my gps in the car. I found the place o.k., followed directions into the underground parking lot and went 2 flights upstairs to Bilka. I then discovered that shopping carts (the British call them "trollies") were back on the parking lot level, so down I went and returned.
This store has everything from groceries to table saws, fabric, bicycles, linens, furniture, but hardly any salespeople to help. I wandered from aisle to aisle searching for what I needed and trying to read the labels in Danish. This day I needed a power drill, vacuum cleaner, head shaver, baking ware, bicycle baskets and equipment and many other household items. After my cart was filled to eye level I proceeded to the check out, waiting 15 minutes til my turn. The process at check-out in this country is the customer does all the work: unloading to the conveyor belt, then loading your own bags (which you bring yourself or pay dearly for one of theirs). Since I know the routine I've gotten pretty quick. The cashier then told me the amount and that they do not take non-Danish credit cards. So while everyone in line behind me waited, I hunted for the ATM on the other side of the store, squeezing every penny out of 2 American bank accounts' daily limits, then hurrying back to the cashier.
Perspiring from humiliation and 2 hours of shopping I return to my car and load up, glad to have my gps to lead me home. I proceed to the parking turnstile to realize I cannot get out because I didn't validate my ticket. At this point the gentle swear words started finding their way to my lips. Eventually, I had to reverse my car against traffic and return to the lot, repark, validate my ticket at which time I was able to exit, leaving not-so-gentl explitives all over the place. How am I supposed to know about all these things? Obviously, the answer is trial and error. That's what these first few months will be about.
But wait, it doesn't end there. I get home, unpack and I have 5 minutes before getting on my bike to collect the girls from school. I find my way to the bathroom where I have just enough time to make a necessary "deposit" in peace. But who should show up but the gardeners, who proceed to have a discussion right below the open bathroom window! Fortunately they go to the door and knock, giving me time to finish up. After a hurried discussion I jump on my bike, get the girls at school, ride to the Hellerup Library, check emails and check out books, ride home, then prepare dinner, do laundry, oversee homework and bedtime routine. Craig was in Aarhus for 3 days.
That night, Molly touched the hi-tech stove buttons in a way that locked the whole system. The next morning when she woke me at 6 am for the day, I tried for one hour to push all the buttons, even resetting the fuses and nothing could get the stove to work. I had no manual, no internet to look on-line, too early for phoning the landlord and all I wanted was a cup of coffee to jump start the day ahead. I called Craig to ask his advice, only to feel his frustrations from work, parallel to mine. As he hung up he said to me, "Peanut, it's just a cup of coffee".
The next half an hour I grimly made it through the morning routine, getting lunch, breakfast and the three of us ready for the day, the whole time wallowing in an escalating amount of self-pity. It wasn't just the cup of coffee that got to me, it was what the cup of coffee stood for: the simple ease of daily routine, where no brick walls stood in my path. That cup of coffee saved me from moments throughout the day where I feel like a square peg ramming into a circular opening. The glitch in the stove represented the continual series of steps that we must take to figure out the simplest of tasks. And I just had it. I had it with everything for the last 3 months. And I lost it. I gave in to tears while brushing my teeth. And then the sobs followed and I couldn't stop. The girls were mystified and awed and a little concerned, but very loving. It was a good teaching moment and heavenly cathartic. Needless to say, I knew it would come and I'm so glad that day is over.
After the girls went to school I sat at a cafe with a very large latte and morning roll with butter, jam and cheese and read my (English) novel before carrying on. Later that day I got a hold of the landlord and he directed me to a manual that had directions in English, imagine that! That was 2 days ago and seems like an eternity. Things will get better, but we'll have a lot of yucky days as well.
So think of me during your next cup of coffee and remind yourself of how easy the simple things are and be grateful.
Let me paint a picture of life as a new ex-pat on one given day. After biking the children to school and biking back, getting in my physical therapy & strength training, I prepared myself with a specific shopping list of necessary items to buy at a Target-like store outside of town. "Bilka" is the equivalent to Wal-Mart in that the sq. footage is so large it must be out of city limits. Locals stock up on things in a Costco-like frenzy, if Danes could muster such an emotion. But in order to find the store, I had to research the address (not easy without internet or phone book) and then plug it into my gps in the car. I found the place o.k., followed directions into the underground parking lot and went 2 flights upstairs to Bilka. I then discovered that shopping carts (the British call them "trollies") were back on the parking lot level, so down I went and returned.
This store has everything from groceries to table saws, fabric, bicycles, linens, furniture, but hardly any salespeople to help. I wandered from aisle to aisle searching for what I needed and trying to read the labels in Danish. This day I needed a power drill, vacuum cleaner, head shaver, baking ware, bicycle baskets and equipment and many other household items. After my cart was filled to eye level I proceeded to the check out, waiting 15 minutes til my turn. The process at check-out in this country is the customer does all the work: unloading to the conveyor belt, then loading your own bags (which you bring yourself or pay dearly for one of theirs). Since I know the routine I've gotten pretty quick. The cashier then told me the amount and that they do not take non-Danish credit cards. So while everyone in line behind me waited, I hunted for the ATM on the other side of the store, squeezing every penny out of 2 American bank accounts' daily limits, then hurrying back to the cashier.
Perspiring from humiliation and 2 hours of shopping I return to my car and load up, glad to have my gps to lead me home. I proceed to the parking turnstile to realize I cannot get out because I didn't validate my ticket. At this point the gentle swear words started finding their way to my lips. Eventually, I had to reverse my car against traffic and return to the lot, repark, validate my ticket at which time I was able to exit, leaving not-so-gentl explitives all over the place. How am I supposed to know about all these things? Obviously, the answer is trial and error. That's what these first few months will be about.
But wait, it doesn't end there. I get home, unpack and I have 5 minutes before getting on my bike to collect the girls from school. I find my way to the bathroom where I have just enough time to make a necessary "deposit" in peace. But who should show up but the gardeners, who proceed to have a discussion right below the open bathroom window! Fortunately they go to the door and knock, giving me time to finish up. After a hurried discussion I jump on my bike, get the girls at school, ride to the Hellerup Library, check emails and check out books, ride home, then prepare dinner, do laundry, oversee homework and bedtime routine. Craig was in Aarhus for 3 days.
That night, Molly touched the hi-tech stove buttons in a way that locked the whole system. The next morning when she woke me at 6 am for the day, I tried for one hour to push all the buttons, even resetting the fuses and nothing could get the stove to work. I had no manual, no internet to look on-line, too early for phoning the landlord and all I wanted was a cup of coffee to jump start the day ahead. I called Craig to ask his advice, only to feel his frustrations from work, parallel to mine. As he hung up he said to me, "Peanut, it's just a cup of coffee".
The next half an hour I grimly made it through the morning routine, getting lunch, breakfast and the three of us ready for the day, the whole time wallowing in an escalating amount of self-pity. It wasn't just the cup of coffee that got to me, it was what the cup of coffee stood for: the simple ease of daily routine, where no brick walls stood in my path. That cup of coffee saved me from moments throughout the day where I feel like a square peg ramming into a circular opening. The glitch in the stove represented the continual series of steps that we must take to figure out the simplest of tasks. And I just had it. I had it with everything for the last 3 months. And I lost it. I gave in to tears while brushing my teeth. And then the sobs followed and I couldn't stop. The girls were mystified and awed and a little concerned, but very loving. It was a good teaching moment and heavenly cathartic. Needless to say, I knew it would come and I'm so glad that day is over.
After the girls went to school I sat at a cafe with a very large latte and morning roll with butter, jam and cheese and read my (English) novel before carrying on. Later that day I got a hold of the landlord and he directed me to a manual that had directions in English, imagine that! That was 2 days ago and seems like an eternity. Things will get better, but we'll have a lot of yucky days as well.
So think of me during your next cup of coffee and remind yourself of how easy the simple things are and be grateful.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Container Arrived
At long last, the truck arrived with our container from America. This has helped ease the transition from "camping" in our house to that of more comfortable surroundings. The overseas shipping companies were phenomenal, contrary to the horror stories we've heard. The container arrived on time, a few days earlier than expected and nothing was damaged or lost. The movers brought everything in, set up the beds and dining room table and were gone in 2 hours. Although it arrived August 29th, we have yet to put everything away, mainly because Danish homes just do not have storage of any means built in to homes. We must purchase all forms of cabinets, shelves, drawers, closets, shoe racks, etc. etc. for every room. This is a process that will take the better part of 6 months or longer.
However, even with our American belongings, we still have bare walls and no familiar affects on the very stark white walls (every home is white interior here). Next purchase is a drill with concrete bits to penetrate the walls. We are looking forward to this weekend where there are numerous "loppemarkeder" flea markets. There we will find many needed household items without shopping at IKEA. Last weekend we dragged the girls through IKEA for a 4 hour experience, where both left screaming and crying. Too much for everybody. Although their meals are good and cheap! That started the beginning of a sour week for us all which now is turning much better. We had a lousy restaurant experience, more furniture building, colds and sicknesses for the girls, scrapes, bumps and bruises from injuries on bikes and in our house, and a tense first week with the girls commuting by bike to school. Watching and instructing them what to do and where to go during rush hour is unnerving as a parent. We will all feel comfortable soon.
This whole biking business is amazing. The city biking system reminds me of SunRiver, but on a much bigger scale. The cities are interconnected like a big spiderweb, and towns are a mere 2 kilometers from each other. Our house is a mere 6 kilometers (3 1/2 miles) from downtown Copenhagen. And there are so many kinds of bike carriers. Children are often carried in 2 person carts on the front of bikes. Women ride in all kinds of footwear and clothing. Dresses and high heels and all. And what is up with all the pregnant women here? My gosh there are a lot! And tons of babies and prams and strollers and bike seats. Little kids are everywhere!
On a personal note, I randomly chose a Danish chiropractor this week and saw her twice. It has helped tremendously and I am feeling much better. The office does NO paperwork, no medical history, no nothing. It is not a litigous society. Cost for a chiropractice visit is less than the cost of a movie and popcorn for 2 people.
We got our citizen cards yesterday. Yoohoo! Now we are officially residents and receive all the services that Danes do. However, we're not sure what they are exactly, since the list came printed in Danish. But it's health and library and community services, etc.
Craig and I are learning the transportation system much better now. We go from train, to bus, to bike and walk, just like everybody else. We save the car for when we really need convenience or when we go somewhere far as a family. I feel as if we're going througha Danish boot camp, to be indoctrinated into civilian life here. We are learning the do's and don'ts but also the mentalities of the culture and the people. I dare say it will take the better part of 2 years to really grasp that, if at all.
We have not gone out of our way to buy newspapers and such in English, nor do we have t.v. yet therefore our news from the states is meager. It doesn't seem to bother us at all. What we don't know won't hurt us.
We are getting to know some neighbors a little. M & M played with kids from across the street on Sunday. Anna (10) and Mads (12). They spoke very little English but played Bocci ball in the back yard and caught frogs and made them a house. Later that day we went to another beautiful beach nearby and Molly was the only brave one to swim in the sound.
We have our internet and t.v. installation date for September 23rd. Hurray! Now we wait. Until then I will continue to grab internet time at the library in Hellerup or at the kids' school or an internet cafe. During these times, I usually don't have a lot of time to write long email passages. I'm taking care of banking or other business. Please forgive my brevity.
If commenting via blogspot is troublesome, please communicate via my email addressÆ thecohen4dk@mail.com
Looking forward to sending more good news when I can.
Love and Light,
Mary Jo
However, even with our American belongings, we still have bare walls and no familiar affects on the very stark white walls (every home is white interior here). Next purchase is a drill with concrete bits to penetrate the walls. We are looking forward to this weekend where there are numerous "loppemarkeder" flea markets. There we will find many needed household items without shopping at IKEA. Last weekend we dragged the girls through IKEA for a 4 hour experience, where both left screaming and crying. Too much for everybody. Although their meals are good and cheap! That started the beginning of a sour week for us all which now is turning much better. We had a lousy restaurant experience, more furniture building, colds and sicknesses for the girls, scrapes, bumps and bruises from injuries on bikes and in our house, and a tense first week with the girls commuting by bike to school. Watching and instructing them what to do and where to go during rush hour is unnerving as a parent. We will all feel comfortable soon.
This whole biking business is amazing. The city biking system reminds me of SunRiver, but on a much bigger scale. The cities are interconnected like a big spiderweb, and towns are a mere 2 kilometers from each other. Our house is a mere 6 kilometers (3 1/2 miles) from downtown Copenhagen. And there are so many kinds of bike carriers. Children are often carried in 2 person carts on the front of bikes. Women ride in all kinds of footwear and clothing. Dresses and high heels and all. And what is up with all the pregnant women here? My gosh there are a lot! And tons of babies and prams and strollers and bike seats. Little kids are everywhere!
On a personal note, I randomly chose a Danish chiropractor this week and saw her twice. It has helped tremendously and I am feeling much better. The office does NO paperwork, no medical history, no nothing. It is not a litigous society. Cost for a chiropractice visit is less than the cost of a movie and popcorn for 2 people.
We got our citizen cards yesterday. Yoohoo! Now we are officially residents and receive all the services that Danes do. However, we're not sure what they are exactly, since the list came printed in Danish. But it's health and library and community services, etc.
Craig and I are learning the transportation system much better now. We go from train, to bus, to bike and walk, just like everybody else. We save the car for when we really need convenience or when we go somewhere far as a family. I feel as if we're going througha Danish boot camp, to be indoctrinated into civilian life here. We are learning the do's and don'ts but also the mentalities of the culture and the people. I dare say it will take the better part of 2 years to really grasp that, if at all.
We have not gone out of our way to buy newspapers and such in English, nor do we have t.v. yet therefore our news from the states is meager. It doesn't seem to bother us at all. What we don't know won't hurt us.
We are getting to know some neighbors a little. M & M played with kids from across the street on Sunday. Anna (10) and Mads (12). They spoke very little English but played Bocci ball in the back yard and caught frogs and made them a house. Later that day we went to another beautiful beach nearby and Molly was the only brave one to swim in the sound.
We have our internet and t.v. installation date for September 23rd. Hurray! Now we wait. Until then I will continue to grab internet time at the library in Hellerup or at the kids' school or an internet cafe. During these times, I usually don't have a lot of time to write long email passages. I'm taking care of banking or other business. Please forgive my brevity.
If commenting via blogspot is troublesome, please communicate via my email addressÆ thecohen4dk@mail.com
Looking forward to sending more good news when I can.
Love and Light,
Mary Jo
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