Exhaling in Danmark

The weather has brought out a much happier demeanor in myself, my family and what seems like everyone else I come in contact with. The temperature has been above 50 degrees daily, and often in the 60's since the beginning of April. It's an unusual record for Denmark, but I'll take it. Finally, for the first time since moving here, I am warm. It's different that working up body heat on a bike, or wearing a ski coat with hat and gloves. The sun is penetrating and strong, the flowers are blooming on trees and people are showing skin on arms and legs!

When we arrived last August, the summer had already ended and we encountered rain and winds for the first couple of months, mixed in with a few nice days. I am told April to June are the nicest months, so we'll go out on a high note. Everything just seems to click better now. We're adjusting to most things beautifully and we encounter little stress. Life is good. I just looked at my calendar and May is our last full month living here. Late May and early June I'll have to start organizing our process of moving back to the U.S. but for now, I'm going go savor the freedom, the weather and new friends.

Last week I went on a Copenhagen City Walking Tour with a group of parents from the school. It was quite entertaining and full of city trivia.
For example, the old city streets used to be lower, but in the 17th century everyone threw their garbage on the streets and it piled up and squashed down and eventually the streets got higher. That is why we often have to walk a few steps down to door entrances!





City lights used to be lit by whale blubber! Can you imagine the smell?




And some the streets in the 16th - 18th centuries had open sewers. That plus the garbage made the city really a sight. The water was water was unfit to drink so people drank beer and aquavit (schnapps) because it was safe. Workplaces were mandated to give each employee a large bottle of beer and a small bottle of aquavit at their workstation to quench their thirst. How's that for work efficiency? That's why today still, drinking alcohol is second nature to most Danes. Many individuals drink beer like water, wine is always served with meals and teenagers and adults alike drink excessively. (that could also be why Danes drink the highest amount of coffee per capita than any other country!)




The great city of Copenhagen burned on many occasions, destroying some of the oldest buildings and churches. What's left today are only a handful from the 16th century, a little more from the 17th and quite a bit from the 18th century. According to our walking guide, these fires were caused by timbered buildings, candles and lamps and a strong wind. The constables in charge of unlocking the wells and assisting to put out the fires were usually too drunk to manage the job.







In the oldest church in the old city, St. Peter's, they used to bury the rich in the basement. It was quite a status thing and the more money you had, the closer you were buried to the altar. However, by the 18th century the smell of the graves became too offensive and they stopped the ritual. That's how they came up with the term "stinking rich"!



Bakeries didn't actually bake breads and desserts for the people, they were simply places with ovens where residents could bring their doughs for baking. This is the oldest bakery in Copenhagen. The pretzel and crown sign is a symbol for a trade union, that certifies a guaranteed level of products. Unfortunately for us, they don't serve pretzels...

Behind extremely nondescript doorways lie quiet, private courtyards. some are completely private and others are central areas for older apartments, cafes or other places. Walking in and out of them really gives one the feeling of the city being an intricate maze of cobblestone, alleys, and all the nooks and crannies of the old walled city. You can leave a very busy, noisy road and within minutes inside a courtyard have absolute quiet. It is here we were pointed out to the wall anchors. Since almost all building are made of brick or stone which expands and contracts with the heat and cold, wall anchors are built from one end to the other to keep it from falling apart.

Lastly, commoners used to eat in Guest Houses or neighborhoods inns for their regular meals because most did not have kitchens or do their own cooking. These inns would have long wooden plank tables with bowl-like divets cut into each place-setting at the table. The propieter would serve the meal directly into the "bowl". The fork was attached to the table so it couldn't be stolen. People brought their own knives. So, the fork and bowl were used over and over by different people. With that and the open sewers, no potable drinking water, garbage on the streets, whale blubber for light and smoke from fires the city was a pretty nasty place. No wonder so many people died of disease by the age of 40.

There is much more to tell, but alas, I must return to the 21st century and get my children off to school and myself off to other adventures. Love and Light, Mary Jo
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The Cliffs of Moon

Just have to quickly show and tell our family adventure last weekend to the Cliffs of Moon Island. In Danish it is "Mons Klint". They are a set of oceanside cliffs made primarily of chalk, that give off a whitish hue. The Cliffs are on an island south of Zealand, the island where Copenhagen is situated. We went last Saturday along with Maya's friend Madison "Maddy". It was an hour and 45 minute drive, viewing flat farmland as usual, but with budding tree blossoms and green grasses.

There are miles of hiking trails around the top, as well as campsites and places to have lunch. About 170 stairs to take you up to the top of the cliffs for viewing and more hiking. Also very windy. Another set of 500 stairs take you down to the beach where you can walk for long stretches when the tide is out. We arrived for the last bit of easterly sun before the cliffs cast a colder shadow. The girls collected really interesting rocks and the views were so relaxing and peaceful.

We had lunch in the cafe/museum (par for every Danish landmark) and not suprised by beautiful salads and the general quality of cuisine that we find par for the entire country, even in the most remote locations.

We stopped for ice cream on the way back and the girls all fell asleep. Nothing like a road trip nap.

Sunday, after family chore time, we hit Tivoli amusement park right after it opened, around Noon. We bought annual passes at Christmas and now have to use them a lot before we move. The weather was beautiful and there were relatively no lines. Maya went on the bumper cars about 6 times while Molly went on the Demon twice with Craig. I went with them once on the Demon (the roller coaster that does 2 loop-de-loops) and then Molly and I went on a ride that takes you straight up 10 stories high and drops you in 1 second. I don't know where I mustered the courage to do that one, and I was speechless afterward. Molly was fine. She loves thrill.

We've been out in the back yard more and more now that the weather is nicer. We play bocci, throw the softball or practice lacrosse or just hang out. We have daylight around 5 am til almost 9 pm. Our bedtime routine is getting later and later and the girls are waking up later and later because of it.

Maya has a cold this week. Nothing serious, but stayed home one day. Molly powers out the rides to school and back, while Maya prefers the bus when she can weasle out of riding. The funny thing is that it's more convenient and faster by bike!

Craig just spent 2 days in Aarhus and will head to USA for a week on Saturday. He managed to buy a push mower yesterday (on Earth Day!) and got out to work on the jungle last night after his drive home. We've decided to cut it ourself since the professional lawn service was charging us over $200 per cut last fall. The push mower was only $80. It's a cheap, hard to use contraption but we won't have to use it for very long.

62 days until we leave Denmark (70 until we're in USA). It's going by terribly fast. But we're enjoying every day as best we can.

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Spring Break in Portland

What a fantastic trip we had in Portland last week! Thanks to all our family and friends who joined us at various times throughout the week for a visit or to share a meal. Even though we are moving back in less than 3 months, the fact was that we hadn't been home in 9 months and that's a very long time to be away. It did our hearts and souls a lot of good to share hugs and kisses and to hear that we've been missed. This family, each of us - has been through our own personal challenges and we needed a trip home more than a trip off to another confusing country. It was so relieving not only to enter our own country where we knew the language and culture, but our own neighborhood where knew the haunts and favorite restuarants, etc. We didn't need our navigation system, to find and check into hotels, wonder where to eat and what tourist excursions to drag the kids on. It was great to be in town and not have domestic or career activities to drag us down. We got to do nothing but see, friends, eat, shop, a few doctor and dentist appointments and the like and then see more friends and family and eat again.

Special Thanks to John and Carole Vranizan, Menendez', our camping buddies (McBarrons, Loux's, Mackies, Osborns and the Hehns), The Fitzpatricks, McCarters, James', Reunerts, Garnands, McDonalds, Linda McCarter, Benschings, Panet-Raymonds, and everybody at Rieke Elementary.

Back in Denmark now for 5 days. My head stayed behind and is slowly catching up with my physical body. The girls adjusted to the time zone very quickly but Craig and I have had several sleepless nights. We should settle after a week or so.

Upon arrival to Copenhagen airport, during the cab ride home and into our house we had an eerie sense of belonging and familiarity that we weren't expecting. We traveled 12 hours around the globe to walk into our house and be "home". It was easy and comfortable this time. Not like the first arrival 9 months ago when we slept on air mattresses in a completely empty flat. We had the same feeling of relief after coming back from our fall trip to Spain, but this spring trip was even stronger. Even though our hearts are in Portland, I can begin to see how we could begin to feel connected to Denmark, or any country for that matter, simply by the sheer fact of time: The longer one spends in one place, the easier it is. (Ergo my 3 generations of family in Portland.)

Maya and Molly instantly jumped back into friends and school with no hesitation. We had Easter Monday off before school and work and the girls quickly arranged playdates. They seem more vibrant, interested in school and excited. Maybe it's their comfort level is better, maybe they are more confident, maybe this spectacular spring weather (that could raise a dead man from the grave!)or maybe they are looking forward to the return to Portland or it could be all of the above.

Craig and I have noticed phenomenal changes in Maya's demeanor. For the first time in her life she's talking about her fears, her feelings and her issues with no prompting from us at all. She's speaking with a mature understanding and clarity that almost seems like it's been incubating inside of her for years. This experience has challenged her and has brought out a new, bolder girl with less anxieties. She has found her voice. Her fifth grade will end with a 6 week long exhibition-project that has begun this week. She seems determined already.

Molly struggles with growing up and still being the baby. She's had to go through a lot for a little girl and hasn't quite reached the threshold where she's comfortable making her own decisions. She constantly needs reassurance. However, at school, she is a leader and empathetic friend. Molly needs to be active and playing all the time. She'll be fine wherever she goes, as long as there's someone to play with. And not her sister. These sisters are sick of each other.

In addition to riding and working out almost daily, I'm planning day trips and weekend excursions for the rest of our stay here. Lots of time checking ferry and train schedules, car routes, sightseeing books, etc. This weekend we're going to the white cliffs of Mons Klint (kind of like the white cliffs of Dover, England - but Danish style) and probably hit Tivoli Amusement park as well. The weather is so uplifting and streams of daylight and sunshine. If you even want to visit Denmark, do it in April - June.

These blog postings are getting harder and harder to write because as time goes on there's less tangible transitions in our day-to-day lives to report about. There's more internal changing that is stewing within that often takes weeks or months to think about and ponder before final oration. The way I feel one day may evolve into another the next. I feel as if I'm practicing "svadyaya" - one of the 8 branches of yoga that involves self study. This practice involves watching and paying attention to your life as you are living it, like writing your manuscript while experiencing it. Often, I need to step away from analyzing and just live. If I blog too much, then I spend more energy on trying to understand instead of on simply living.

Regardless, this experience has been a blessing in our lives and I am grateful for every challenge and joy. Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
Mary Jo
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5 Days Away from a Portland Visit

While many of our friends are leaving for exotic destinations around the globe next week for Spring Break, we will head for Portland. This flight has been planned since we bought our tickets last June and even though we're moving back in summer, it'll be good to see friends, family and take care of a lot of business and shopping. It will be strange to "vacation" in the town we live in, but we will do our best. The girls want to attend Rieke a few days, Craig will go in to the LaCrosse office a couple but for the most part we will be busy just catching up with seeing everyone.

The last two weeks have flown by for me. One museum outing with lady friends, CIS Dinner Dance, 2 luncheons with CIS friends, 2 days spent with my sister Teresa who was in town again (including a fun day in Sweden) and on top of that lots of walking, biking, tennis and my usual yoga/strength routine. It's now Saturday morning and I'm looking forward to a weekend of chores, food shopping, laundry and such. Craig and I are seeing a play by an English Production Company tonight and dinner out.

Craig's had a long week with LaCrosse people in town. The office was a hub of activity until late hours. He's begun to mingle his new U.S. job responsibilities with his current Danish ones. The Controller he hired the first of January is doing a bang-up job and will assume some of the managerial responsibilities while the Portland Marketing Dept. will take others. Craig will travel to the U.S. at least twice and to China once before we move home in June.

We're trying to cram little excursions in here and there amidst Maya's big 5th grade "exhibition" project, end-of-year school parties and packing up. We hope to get to Stockholm, The fjords of Norway, Legoland (on the big island of Denmark) and Croatia after school is over. Sounds crazy but we just have to do it.

Molly continues to create a busy social life. She has a sleepover with a different friend every weekend and at least 2 playdates after school each week. She aces what little homework she gets and has become a stronger reader. Maya likes to come home after school and hang out, do computer games, homework and read. She has one or two playdates a week as well. She confided in me last night that she's torn about moving back to Portland. She's making some good friends here and wants more time to get to know them better. However, she's looking forward to being with her old friends at home. Both girls' worlds revolves around their friends. How lovely and innocent. Aah, to be a child.

The more I visit with fellow ex-pats, the more I realize how very different our experience is from theirs. Many have been assigned and re-assigned jobs globally, and do not have a "home" per se. Where they currently hang their hat, is their home. They bring everything with them and set up their lives, integrating as completely and as wholeheartedly as they can. We, on the other hand, just took a bite out of the real thing. We've always known we'd return and to exactly our Portland existence as we left it. With that, it's been hard to "detach" from Portland and "attach" here. I can understand now, why the first year is the detaching process. It takes about that long to feel connected and get truly involved in activities, friendships, etc.

But, on the other hand, one year will give us the experience of a lifetime. Not only in traveling and seeing other parts of the world and how people live, but the detachment I speak of is also a time to re-evaulate and assess one's life as it was. This self-induced exile from home has been a time of reflection, bonding and growth. We've all become very practiced in the art of patience. At the risk of sounding very Dorothy-like, "There's no place like home". Granted, distance makes the heart grow fonder. But we are very fortunate to have a place we can call home: A place that is familiar, cozy, inviting and safe. A place where roots are deep. We will return home to open arms of loving friends and family.

The sun is up and the skies look friendly today. We've had still freezing temperatures this week, a little snow, sleet, rain mixed with 2 beautifully sunny but chilly days. The only color is from blooming crocus in every lawn. We won't get new growth on trees and flowers for another month. We change our clocks tonight, giving us daylight until almost 8:30 pm.

Enjoy the new birth of spring,
Love and Light,
Mary Jo
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What a difference a Week Makes

I am feeling much better now. I needed some really hard down time. Perhaps my body and mind felt it was the last "rest" of the winter, as I now launch into spring activities and the procedures to get us home. Although I wasn't really depressed, I felt unmotivated and uninterested and tired. That is so NOT like me. I think that's what bothered me more - the fact that I wasn't my usual self.

I'm waking to a clear blue sky at sunrise, 6 am. The days are rapidly lengthening and with it the hint of warmer weather and cheerier times. I got back on the saddle after a couple of weeks. Monday I rode downtown for an appointment and to the fantastic public library (almost as big as Powells). Tuesday I rode to Christianhavn, Christiana, Fisketorvet Mall and Islands Brygge, where Craig's office is. I explored new roads, got lost, sat in a bakery and ate real "danish" with coffee, of course. The wind was really howling. I rode over 45 km (about 25 miles) in all and the wind made it twice as hard. There were times the wind blew me sideways or stopped me completely. I love riding because it really connects me to the city and makes me feel alive. I see things close-up and get a taste for everything, much more than in a car.

The girls and I had a painting day on Sunday. We got out easels, canvasses and acrylics and let our imaginations go. We all produced some nice pieces. Maya went on a 5-girl sleepover at a Danish friend's house on Friday, after the Primary School disco. She got little sleep but had a fantastic time and never once called home. She is connecting more with her schoolwork, and participating more in the classroom. Molly also went on a sleepover after the disco, then went to a birthday party the same weekend. Birthday parties really keep their social lives active.

I have arranged a group of ladies to go to the Arken Museum this Friday to see an impressionists exhibit. Next week I'm going out to 2 different lunches and an evening affair. My book club is currently reading "Number The Stars" by Lois Lowry. A youth book that is about 2 ten year old girlfriends living in Copenhagen during the Nazi occupation. One girl is Jewish.

This Saturday is the big CIS dinner dance. We are going, much to Craig's disappointment. You know how much he likes to dance. But we are sitting at a table with other couples he knows and has some common interests. I hesitated but decided not to buy a new gown for the occasion. I brought a dress that I only wore once and will do just fine. We are having friends over before for drinks and appetizers. I think the last time we got this dressed up was summer of 2007.

I've decided I have to keep investing in a social life up until the moment I leave, rather than pull back. In reality, all the ex-pats we know are in the same boat - everyone is transient and often could leave with a few months notice as well. The economy is slowly affecting it's way over here and downsizing will occur in Denmark as well.

We are gearing up for our trip to Portland April 3rd. Just 15 days away. We are lining up appointments, gatherings, shopping sprees and errands. Should be an action-packed week.

Love and Light,
Mary Jo
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Snowing on March 12th

I had such high hopes for spring. Not today. We woke to frost that we had to scrape off the windows to drive Craig to the train station, for a trip to Germany. then, around noon it started snowing. Termperatures are right around freezing and I'm sure it won't accumulate. However, this is more of a hit to our spirits, rather than anything else. The winter has seemed so long. Our first snow was the 2nd week of November and since then we've had one day over 7 degrees celcius. I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit. I stopped figuring that out a long time ago.

I'm feeling very blue. Having a second cold in 4 weeks has brought me down. Along with the weather I'm just not as motivated as I was before. I connect with a few mom-friends at school, but not in the way that others do. How much effort do I put in to getting to know people that I'm just going to leave? I suffer from my own desire to be alone. I don't mind it, but then it doesn't get me invitations. I'm not writing this to get sympathy, it's just reality. The life of an ex-pat wife is not all roses.

We live a parallel life to everyone else all over the world. We get up have breakfast, get to work and school, shop for food, cook, do homework, chores and have dinner just like people do in Portland, New York, Rome and Brazil. What makes one feel at home is a connection to their community. If we knew we were to live here permanantly, or that we weren't going back to USA but rather on to another assignment in another county, things might be different. We migh jump in whole-heartedly. But we know differently. We know we are going back. "Short-timers" disease makes living in the present very difficult.

However, no matter how long we might have lived here, chances are we would never have integrated into the Danish social life. We live parallel to them, not with them. Very few ex-pats actually socialize with Danes. One American mother has been here 5 years and still doesn't have Danish friends. Like her, we make friends and socialize with other ex-pats. Outside of school and work, we know very few people. Granted, we don't go out of our way to do so either. It's uncomfortable for us and them. So, we spend a lot of time as a family at home or out together.

In the beginning, I spent a lot of energy wanting to be like the Danes, so as not to stand out; "blend in". But now I've come to realize that I don't really want to be like the Danes at all. I try now to just be who I am and enjoy how I dress and what I do and add only the things that I really like about the lifestyle here to my ouvre.

Many Danish families at CIS are lovely, especially those that have travelled and moved beyond the traditionalist mentality.

Add the isolation, gray skies, cold weather, lack of work or busy-ness, monotonous countryside and life here can be a little boring. we learn to fill it with as much external entertainment and activity that this non-social family can muster.

No pictures will accompany this blog. I'm finding it harder to write about life here. It's just so much of the ordinary. I've stopped looking at where I live as being someplace special, and just a place to live. The bloom is off the rose.

Thank God for my yoga practice and self motivation to keep it going.
Love and Light,
Mary Jo

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Holland Excursion/Maya's Basketball Tournament

We're just coming off our 4-day Dutch excursion. Maya's basketball team had a tournament in The Hague so Molly, Craig and I decided to tag along and sightsee, and support the team. The 4 C.I.S. teams (U12 boys/girls, U14 boys/girls) rode a sweet, double decker touring bus for 11 hours on Thursday, arriving dinner time. The 3 of us flew a little over an hour, arriving dinner time. We stayed in a hotel inbetween the Hague and Amsterdam so we could split our time between games and the city. This is an international school league, 10 schools from Holland, Belguim, Germany and Denmark.

The schools rotate hosting the tournament, for each major sport (volleyball, bball, track and field, soccer) so the kids get around. Most spectators were parents of the closer schools, and only a handful of parents from Denmark made the effort. Since we were "jonzing" for a kids' game to watch we went all the way. (That's been missing in our lives this year - no team sports, no games on the weekends, no social interaction with parents on the sidelines). Basketball is not a european sport and many parents are learning right along with the kids.

Maya's school is one of the smallest of all the international schools therefore the sports programs are smaller and draw from fewer kids. There are no leagues for grades 1 - 4. Their team was up against some stiff competition. Amazing how aggressively these girls played, muscling for every ball and constant turn-overs. Scores never got over 20 points. They ended up 7th out of 8 teams, winning 2 out of 5 games. They played better than the C.I.S. U12 boys, which was an emotional boost. Other than playing, they stayed in a hotel, ate out, watched games, went to an all-school dinner/dance and lastly shopped for souveniers and candy before their overnight bus trip home.

Maya plays guard, and her squad trades off every other quarter. Maya scored 8 points total, scoring in 3 different games. Her skills have developed from last year and she's become more aggressive, offensively and defensively.

The American School of the Hague hosted the tournament. Unlike CIS, The Hague was built specifically as the international school and has a campus similar to most American High Schools and includes Pre-k to High school with state of the art facilities. The snack bar alone was brilliant with all fresh, healthy foods and no sodas or junk food at all.

In our free time Friday and Saturday Molly, Craig and I drove into Amsterdam to mess around. The first day we walked, ate and shopped. The second day we saw the Ann Frank House, ate, strolled and shopped. Both days we were back to the hotel by 8 pm. Sights and activities are much different in Amsterdam with children, vs. as a single adult. However we were able to drink some beers in pubs with Molly. Sadly for me, I didn't get to see museums or buy more stuff, tempting as the lower Euro rate was against the Danish kroner.

The last day we checked out Schevingeren, a popular beach outside of the Hague and headed for the airport. Maya's teams loaded the bus and left Sunday night at 7 pm, drove through the night and arrived at C.I.S. for pick-up at 6 am. The kids have Monday off for a teacher in-service day, so she is writing a research paper on biomes,nursing a headache, a cold and very tired. All in all, it was great experience for her and she is thrilled that she made it and very proud of herself. We are too.

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