Saturday, February 14, 2009

Moving Back to Portland Summer '09

Wouldn't life be boring if everything always went to plan?

So that's how we're looking at our recent change to our assignment here in Denmark. Turns out, we're not insulated from the economic woes of the U.S. simply by living in Denmark. Things are bad everywhere. We will begin planning our July 1st departure - about 5 months from now. This is 6-12 months less than what we expected to spend over here.

Craig and I knew about all this 3 weeks ago but have had to stay quiet until all parties involved heard it from LaCrosse directly. It was news worth announcing but had to wait. It was difficult not to call and email immediatlely, but then on the other hand it gave us time to think things through, lets the girls ponder it for a while, assess our own reactions and concerns.

We can't help but be grateful and appreciative of the time here. The exposure to another country and culture plus the ability to travel to foreign countries and gain new perspectives on others and ourselves. We've met so many other families and learned about their lives and experiences. We challenged ourselves by uprooting our known existence in Portland and moving it halfway around the world. And now, we're going to go through it all again, on the reverse. Not only will we overcome the physical challenges but mental and emotional ones as well: fears, anxieties, missing friends, stress of all kinds. We've gained a sense of independence and strength of character that will carry through our family bond forever and hopefully be instilled in our children's futures. This was a chance of a lifetime and even though short, it was well worth the hard work, sweat and tears.

So, why are we comning back? Simply put, it's very expensive for LaCrosse to keep this ex-pat family here. Between school, rent, and all the extra expenditures it's been a big debit in the new European company's records. By June, Craig will have all the major components in place that are needed for the company to function without him. He will train his new Danish controller as interim director until another Danish director can be hired. Matt Schneider, the other ex-pat from LaCrosse will stay on for another year and head up all sales and marketing.

As soon as school is over, we're loading a container and moving out. Our plan is to take one last trip to Croatia with my sister, Susan and her family who have pre-planned a visit, before all this happened. We should be back in the first week of July. Details have yet to be defined and where we'll live when we move back is yet to be determined. Our renters have leased our house until mid August and if they want us to honor that, we'll just stay in executive housing until the end of the summer. Besides, our belongings will take most of July and August to travel to Portland.

Maya and Molly are just fine with moving home. They took it much better than when we announced our move to Copenhagen! But, of course. They are moving to the familiar and know exactly what to look forward to. Maya will be able to start Middle School with her friends and Molly would be back at Rieke with her buddies. Summers in Copenhagen are long and can be quite boring if you don't travel. Most ex-pat families leave for the entire summer. We would have had only 3 or 4 weeks out of 8 with definite plans. The other 4 would have been brutal. It's a strange society here, among the ex-pat community. News of families' arrivals and departures is a constant buzz. Where do people come from? Where are they going? And more ex-pats are leaving this year than normal, for the same reasons we are.

We had dinner with Geeta and Adam Fry last weekend (at a restaurant that blends French, Italian, Danish and Turkish Food and we could bring our own bottles of wine).
Geeta started crying when we told her we were leaving. She said, "That's just not fair! You just start to get to really know some one and then they leave." It's the same for our kids too. They are just starting to have favorite friends and more confidence about playdates (well, Molly always was...) It's wrenching to watch them see classmates come and go. The trade-off of being a transient society is the exchange of fabulous stories and interactions. We have a lot to do in the next 5 months!

How do I feel about it all? On one hand I had a lot of plans to see so much more. I was beginning to settle in to ex-pat mom life: weekly tennis, museum-going, volunteer duty on committees at school, joining a gym, etc. But on the other hand I've felt like I'm just biding my time until we go home. There's only so much purpose for me here. Granted, I bind the family together. I make things happen keep the household together. Craig's job has been the lead in our lives and the rest of us are along for the ride. While he gets the stress, we get the spoils. However, he gets the purpose while I get the abyss. There's not enough time to get involved nor is working here a possibility. I look forward to returning to teach yoga again and reassign myself into my community.

Even though I've gotten out for biking and enjoyed the out-of-doors here in Denmark, let's face it: this country is flat and boring. I can't wait to get back to interesting hiking trails, skiing just an hour away, views of hills out my living room window, desert and rock climbing, mountain biking. Oregon is such a great recreational state. I miss that a lot. And the change of seasons. Here it's just cold, colder, cold and warm. And let's be honest: Danes are not the friendliest people to live among. I haven't tried to be buds with anyone, but I never felt the urge to. I guess to sum it up, I've enjoyed living here but I've never fallen in love with Copenhagen. I will not have a hard time moving away.

On a separate note, the girls just had a week off from school and since Craig had to work, we went to northern Germany to a family sports resort. We went with another mom and fifth grade friend of Maya's. I drove, and the journey took 8 hours going (bad traffic)and 7 coming back. This place was located on the NW coast and houses about 2000 people in all sorts of arrangements, mostly small, cheap cottages with bare bones amenities. They offer an indoor water park, tennis, badminton, bowling, arcade, pool, air hockey, ping pong and assorted restaurants. In the summer there's much much more to do, but since it snowed 3 out of the 4 days we were there, we stuck to the indoor sports.

We got a taste of German resort accomodations (everybody either checks in on Mondays OR Fridays and that's it). German food (what's not deep fried is swimming in sauces and pretty poor salads). German nudity in the locker rooms and saunas (much to poor Molly's chagrine). German water - you can't buy regular flat water if you tried- everything is carbonated. German friendliness- they are nice and very welcoming. German bodies - much plumper and less toned than Danish bodies. Hmmm could be that jovial lifestyle of eating and drinking...

We had a great break away from our house and school and shared good times with Deb and Maddy. Now we're back, I have a weird cold I'm trying to stave off and girls have friends over. It's Valentines Day on an uncharacteristically sunny day, with frozen snow on the ground.

Will write more again.
Love, Peace and Joy

comments to: thecohen4dk@gmail.com

4 comments:

Michelle Rafter said...

Wow. This is why Mom called here twice before 10 a.m. today to tell me to read this blog. Now I have to call her. You're coming back! Will email more.

Michelle

BABS said...

I must admit to being slightly envious. The feeling of 'just biding time' is how I would sum up living in Dk for one month or ten years. Yes summers are long and people are not the friendliest, and if we don't have another option all we can do is make the most of it. And it is possible to make the most of it here, with an unerring positive attitude and lots of great expat friends and the odd interesting Dane.

A lot of us feel just stuck here though, and I wonder why Denmark feels like that, a place to be stuck.

I wish you well in your final months here, they will probably feel like a holiday, and it will be wonderful for you to have experienced the life here but also to get to go home.

It must be wonderful to have a good reason to leave ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, I suppose Oregon must be hard to compete with! I've never been the outdoorsy type, so Copenhagen life suits me just fine, with quite a lot of cultural depth, to be sure - I'm always intellectually occupied at least!

Your post made be realize that I can't categorize myself as a real ex-pat any more. I don't feel stuck. I am a neo-native. I love what this place has to give - good and bad.

Thanks for perspectivizing that for me.

Paul Hehn said...

That was a good read, although it made me feel a wee bit melancholy.

It reminded me of when I was a kid, because we moved almost every year. The longest we lived anywhere was about three years. And now Amy and I have lived in Portland for 24 years, 17 of them in the same house.

But I (pretty much) always liked moving around as a kid. At least that's how I think of it now, as a very positive experience.

Of course, it made me the insensitive lout I am today, but... being insensitive, it's hard to care about that.