Snowing on March 12th

I had such high hopes for spring. Not today. We woke to frost that we had to scrape off the windows to drive Craig to the train station, for a trip to Germany. then, around noon it started snowing. Termperatures are right around freezing and I'm sure it won't accumulate. However, this is more of a hit to our spirits, rather than anything else. The winter has seemed so long. Our first snow was the 2nd week of November and since then we've had one day over 7 degrees celcius. I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit. I stopped figuring that out a long time ago.

I'm feeling very blue. Having a second cold in 4 weeks has brought me down. Along with the weather I'm just not as motivated as I was before. I connect with a few mom-friends at school, but not in the way that others do. How much effort do I put in to getting to know people that I'm just going to leave? I suffer from my own desire to be alone. I don't mind it, but then it doesn't get me invitations. I'm not writing this to get sympathy, it's just reality. The life of an ex-pat wife is not all roses.

We live a parallel life to everyone else all over the world. We get up have breakfast, get to work and school, shop for food, cook, do homework, chores and have dinner just like people do in Portland, New York, Rome and Brazil. What makes one feel at home is a connection to their community. If we knew we were to live here permanantly, or that we weren't going back to USA but rather on to another assignment in another county, things might be different. We migh jump in whole-heartedly. But we know differently. We know we are going back. "Short-timers" disease makes living in the present very difficult.

However, no matter how long we might have lived here, chances are we would never have integrated into the Danish social life. We live parallel to them, not with them. Very few ex-pats actually socialize with Danes. One American mother has been here 5 years and still doesn't have Danish friends. Like her, we make friends and socialize with other ex-pats. Outside of school and work, we know very few people. Granted, we don't go out of our way to do so either. It's uncomfortable for us and them. So, we spend a lot of time as a family at home or out together.

In the beginning, I spent a lot of energy wanting to be like the Danes, so as not to stand out; "blend in". But now I've come to realize that I don't really want to be like the Danes at all. I try now to just be who I am and enjoy how I dress and what I do and add only the things that I really like about the lifestyle here to my ouvre.

Many Danish families at CIS are lovely, especially those that have travelled and moved beyond the traditionalist mentality.

Add the isolation, gray skies, cold weather, lack of work or busy-ness, monotonous countryside and life here can be a little boring. we learn to fill it with as much external entertainment and activity that this non-social family can muster.

No pictures will accompany this blog. I'm finding it harder to write about life here. It's just so much of the ordinary. I've stopped looking at where I live as being someplace special, and just a place to live. The bloom is off the rose.

Thank God for my yoga practice and self motivation to keep it going.
Love and Light,
Mary Jo

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